La Charcuterie Delicatessen
19080 96 Ave
Surrey, BC
“Have you gone to Le Charcuterie, yet?” – That was a question Sherman of Sherman’s Food Adventure kept asking me every once in a while. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying he was nagging or anything like that. Instead, that peaked my curiosity. After all, why would he keep asking me if he did not think it was good? In fact, I wanted to try it, except there was a big problem: from Vancouver, it was easily a 30+ minutes drive! It does not help the fact they are open from 10:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. – though, fortunately, they are open on Saturdays. So on a day of, I chose to make the drive…
Now, the rest of the blog will be set up in an “unusual way” – instead of going through the how I got the food and so on, I will give my thoughts first and what happened in between afterwards. Why? Because this post is R rated (no, this is not R rated posts week!) due to coarse language and profanity, as per this warning on the door:
After making my order and so and so, I got this sandwich:
Was it good? Actually, there was one problem, although Salam (the owner) warned me about. In this case, before I made my order, he told me there was no fresh bread; instead, they only had day-old bread. How often do you hear this before your food is prepared? So, other than that fact, i.e., the bread was a bit chewy and have he had other dressing options (in addition to mayo and mustard), the sandwich was good. Overload with different cold cuts (though, oddly, ended up making the sandwich slightly on the salty side. No balance of cold cuts?) and, as a result, difficult to eat. Hey, there was absolutely no way I could open my mouth that wide to take a bite! Otherwise, a satisfying sandwich. In fact, I couldn’t finish it in one seating; instead, I took the second half and had it for dinner later that night. Would I come back? If would, if it wasn’t for that long drive… -_-;;;
(Having said all that, the rest of how I got the sandwich. Again, it contains coarse language and “nudity”, so continue at your own risk!)
Last chance!
Are you still here? Good, hehehehehe. Now, I was warned by Sherman about the colourful owner of the shop. If you read his post, sexual references are all over. For example, the different breads
- Italian Fuccacia. Say it right, FUU-KA-CHIA, and not FUK – KAT – SHIA.
- French sourdough. Long and hard but soft inside.
Of course, with more male than female customers (during my visit, there were 6 male customers), the “jokes” would be on the line of sexual/gay innuendo. For example, when I walked in, he asked me “is this your first time here?“; I “innocently” replied “yes”. I didn’t even finish saying it when he shouted to everybody “OK, we have a virgin here.“. Of course, rather than “get angry” at him, I just say “oh, yeah, that’s why I am here!”. And, if you check the “menu”…
It seems Brokeback Mountain is his favourite movie…
To make things “interesting”, I ordered the “Salam’swich” or “whatever he wants to put on your buns“. After I made the order, he wanted to make sure I wanted “everything he got” and, if so, I should “bend over“, to which I replied, “you know what, how about you bend over first so that I show you how I like it?“. In this case, he just cracked over and said “(me) being Chinese, he won’t have any problems as my hands ought to be soft“. Similar exchanges went on and on while he was preparing the sandwich, like him telling the story of his life (that he used to be an electrical engineer and that his current business was the best he could do for his life). Just don’t get offended; it is similar to the bully you have in high school, the more you try not to be noticed, the more he will pick on you. Instead, just “fight back”. In the end, he will just laugh, who knows, what he might put in your buns might be something better than the “regular” sandwich, hehehehe.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
A nice shtick if it works. BC Hydro…..
Exactly my thoughts Peter. Both of them in fact
Awesome Kim! You made it there! Yah, the sandwiches are actually too big. But it’s worth a visit just for the experience alone.
H.Peter, raidar, it works, hehehehehe.
Sherman, hey, as promised! And, yes, it is an experience on its own. Now, I need to bring another “virgin” to see/hear what happens!
what a interesting cafe….I would love to check it out, but now hesitant after reading thru the whole entry. I hope that conversation is only between the owner and male customers, as I would have no comebacks.
Jenny, well, no… While he was preparing the sandwich, a female customer walked in and a similar conversation kicked in. However, either she did not understand what he was saying, playing dumb or simply ignoring him, there wasn’t too much “harassing” going on. (Though she acknowledged it wasn’t her first time there). Either that or he was too entertained with me *cough**cough*. C’mon, give it a try. As Sherman mentioned, just visiting is an experience of its own, hehehehehe.
Here’s a small taste of the experience:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfQqRKDR4Pc
Chris, welcome! Thanks for the link. HOWEVER, and this is a BIG HOWEVER, before anybody clicks on it, be warned that it contains nudity and coarse language. You have been warned!
Oh dear. That is way to funny!!
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