Those who know me personally can vouch for what I going to say: At times, I could need a disclaimer simliar to the one you see at the beginning of South Park. Haven’t watched South Park? It goes something like this:

All characters and events in this show—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated…..poorly. The following program contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.

Yes, a lot of times, I don’t hold back and profanity/vulgarity is used every other word if necessary. Furthermore, I can be *really* sarcastic. While I won’t match Salam (of Le Charcuterie), I can piss a lot of people off if I want to (even at times, I do it un-intentionally!). Anyway, the reason I mention this is because this post is a tongue-in-cheek one I wrote some time ago but chose not to publish it. However, for some reason, I though “why not?”. That is despite I know it might… No, it WILL offend some people (even alienating some of my own readers, not to mention some food bloggers). As a result, proceed at your risk! (If you have a thick skin or sick sense of humour, of course, go ahead!).

So, what it is about? This is a twits of a couple of articles I read long time ago about the seven levels of artists and surfers. In this case, my twist is that of food bloggers (though, it can easily be extended into “social media”… Darn, I hate that term!). Without further ado…

Level 7: The equivalent of heaven. Those who are in this level have achieved the perfection… They are paid to eat/talk/write about food and people enjoy that. Their might be a detractor or two but it is mainly because of their jealousy and the fact they will never be able to achieve this level. Anthony Bourdain is among the few who have achieved this.

Level 6: Food critics, aka, professionals. These are writers who are trying to do what Anthony Bourdain does for a living but are not there yet. More often than not, they are happy with what they do; after all, they are still getting paid to eat! The denizens of this level might not be willing to try anything; however, enough encouragement can push them to do it. Their writing style is, of course, professional. They will have their set of detractors, as other sometimes believe they have not been fair. In fact, sometimes it is considered they are a bit too critical. Their souls have not been corrupted yet by the lure of endorsements of restaurants or, to put it bluntly, “bribes”, as they know how to detect them and how to address them accordingly. It is really difficult for them to become anonymous – after all, they are public figures; however, those who can stay “hidden” are almost impossible to distinguish them from a regular patron.

Level 5: PR people: These are the writers, sometimes bloggers, who do this for a living; however, unlike food critics, who are paid by a publication (newspaper, magazine, et al), they are paid by a restaurant/corporation to do publicity/generate awareness. Needless to say, their souls have been corrupted by the $$$. Sometimes, a professional can fall into this level without knowing (or doing it knowingly without their readers knowing). They will be present at almost any public relationship event where food is involved because, well, they do almost the same as the professionals. Their writing style follows the same lines as those from a higher level, except they don’t have a similar code of ethics. Likewise, they are excessively enthusiastic about the food of the restaurants of their customers. They can be seen in the restaurants who acquire their services. They usually do not take pictures of the restaurants: they hire somebody else to do it.

Level 4: Hobbyists. Those in this level write about food just because they like/love food. Frequency of their posts is irrelevant, they write because it is a labour of love; however, after they are aware that long periods of time without anything new posts, they risk falling down from this level. Because they do this as a hobby, they might not necessarily follow the same rules as the food critics, yet, they try not to be skewed either. Writing style might reflect the fact they are not professionals but they try to improve over time. Those who are in this level might try every type of food but, due to other reasons, there will be personal preferences. Hobbyists do not write for the monetary compensation, though if they get something to recover costs of blogging (hosting/domain fees, etc), they will be happy about it. While some will be happy to stay at this level, some have desires to move “up” – in fact, some do eventually. There are detractors but more often than not it is because they are being compared against those a higher level (namely, food critics). Their souls are in harmony with their being, but constantly being tested. Hobbyists can be found in almost any restaurants, from high end to dives to street vendors taking pictures of anything with their P&S or dSLR, and sometimes will go to the extent of taking plates of food to another table with better lightning/natural lightning just to take a better picture.

Level 3: (Media) whores – those writers/bloggers who are not professional, yet try to extract any benefit/perk associated to the activity, like invitations from the PR people for a free event. Some of those who have fallen into this category might not even be food writers/bloggers full time; their area of “expertise” might be something else and, once in a while, drop a post on food/restaurant. The content might be skewed, too: since it is “free”, they don’t seem to be able to write anything negative; as a result, everything sounds/looks good. At other times, they can be hobbyists who are narcissists and, in they search for attention, do almost anything just to create that attention. Detractors don’t take them seriously, as they have no souls (it was sold long time ago). They are usually seen in restaurants, usually invited by the PR people, for a free meal and, at times, they might even deny the “free” part under the cover of “independence”. They usually use P&S; however, depending on their area of expertise, it is possible they might be using camcorders instead.

Level 2: Amateurs, or those who start a blog just because. The frequency of their posts is extremely erratic; might post back-to-back posts in a couple of days and suddenly you might not hear/read from them for a full month. The topic might go from their grandmother’s recipe to an obscure hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Unless there is something catastrophic, they always look at the bright side of things. They don’t care about ratings, though to them replies/follow-up/comments are always nice. Their souls have not been exposed yet to the corruption of the web. However, the inhabitants of this level seldom stay here for long: They soon either fall down or rise through the other levels. An amateur can easily be spotted in a restaurant (which can be pretty much any restaurant), either because of they are nervous while taking the pictures of the food or they are extremely enthusiastic about it.

Level 1: Commenters. The inhabitants of this level are those who don’t write a blog themselves but rather prefer to frequent boards, forums or other blogs. While their comments might sometimes be out of hand, some others are quite insightful. Writers from other levels might fall into this category because they are not active anymore or have moved to other activates. It does not mean those who are in this level are not as good as any of those in a “higher” level; instead, they choose to stay on the sidelines. Just as some might fall to this level, some of them might also rise to be an amateur and even a professional. Fortunately, they still have a soul. You can’t distinguish a commenter from a regular restaurant patron.

Level 0: This level is dedicated to those in eternal damnation. It might be a customer, it might be a restaurant owner, it might be a relative of such restaurant owner. Despite this seemingly “different” group of people, they do have one thing in common: They use resources like DineHere.ca, Yelp.com and Urbanspoon, to either (a) bitch and complain about a restaurant (specially if they had a really bad experience) or (b) laud about the restaurant (in a hope to attract customers). Regardless of which one it is, once they write such post, they are usually never heard of again. Because of this, they have no soul.

I don’t consider myself an active person. Sure, I hit the gym three times a week, I walk around (now that I work in Downtown Vancouver, I take transit rather than drive there) but, if given the option, I think I would take a nap, or just being lazy. Just before I started food blogging, I was able to keep my weight in check; not necessarily an easy task considering I have a big appetite. However, I have noticed that in the last three months, I have gained at least 3.0 kilograms (the half kilogram is dependant of the time of the day; i.e., before or after meals, hehehe)!

Can I blame food blogging? Of course I can! Can I blame the fact I have been travelling a lot in the last several months – which usually means over a week without exercise? (Most noticeable ones: Toronto/Hamilton, one to Philly and two to Baltimore) Sure, again I can! However, in the end, I think I must blame myself. Everytime I have been to a restaurant, I end up cleaning my plate; something not necessarily the best way to eat.

I am due with my trainer so I will check what can be done about this. Would I eat less/exercise more to manage this situation? We will see… ^_^ So, to my fellow bloggers, how much does your eating habits have change since you started blogging? To (food) blog readers, have you visited more restaurants based on blog posts? And, if so, what have been the secondary effects?